Sex guide for transvestites

Sometimes the conversations we have leading up to sex look a little bit different. Depending on our bodies, our preferences, our identities, our sexual histories, and our kinks, we may need to be asking specific questions to make sure that everyone is having a good time. This is especially true for folks who may be looking to have sex with someone who is transgender. They recognize the need to talk about how our encounter might look, but they struggle to figure out how to frame the discussion. Every transgender person is different. You may have had sex with a trans person before, and you may even be trans yourself, but what one partner liked or found triggering may be completely different from what a new partner might experience.

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Before I went to college, I was closeted. I barely count those eighteen years as part of life. Why would I?

The kid groans outwardly, but inside, they cheer to be acknowledged as a maturing being. Guardians — and this can include parents, mentors, and even sex education instructors — have traditionally defaulted to describing sex with heterosexual, penis-meets-vagina language. This can be a quick recipe for discomfort for lots of sex-talk recipients, including queer people , asexual people , abstinent people , and those who simply think sex is more than penis-plus-vagina. But it also has its own particular wrinkles for transgender folks — who may additionally identify with any of the previous traits, as well. From such a vantage point, I can honestly say: Most out trans boys, trans men, and trans masculine people I know receive inadequate, if not wholly non-existent, sex talks.